The Ties that Bind Our Hands & Our Hearts
Like so many of us, I have held myself to extreme standards all my life. We absorb these “standards” of perfection and expectation over the years from diverse sources. We begin to create a personalized set of standards to achieve or maintain that we begin to feel are necessary or desirable or necessary to make us desirable, depending on our intentions at the time.
It could be from something as innocuous as being told we are brilliant as children, leading us to either strive fiercely to keep this label that only continues to grow harder to maintain as we grow older or, like me, allowing the pressure of such a label to overwhelm us into doing nothing, because “if you don’t even try, your work/self cannot be judged.”
But you can only live off of potential for so long.
Or these expectations could be more self-imposed, gathered through rigorous comparison of ourselves to others, whether in real or virtual life, such as overindulging in perfect Pintrest pins or magazine photos, or being rejected by an almost lover and the vicious self-dissection that comes after.
These are only a small handful of personal examples.
No matter the source, we slowly allow our spirits to be tied up and silenced through overwhelming thoughts of what we ought to be doing rather than what we are truly inspired to do. So much so that we begin to forget ourselves and what it is we are called to do; we completely lose touch with our passions and our purpose.
Every expectation, every picture perfect petit four or pinafore promise, slips one more obligatory strand over our wrists and our hearts and ties it with a knot. It weighs heavy and we feel we can only be free of this “I should be…” weight once we achieve the standard.
“THEN I’ll be happy,” we think, yet most of us rarely achieve any of the thousands of expectations we place upon ourselves.
Instead, years upon years of knots and ties, and we have immobilized ourselves, wound tight with layer upon layer of shoulds, if onlys, not good enoughs, and can’ts.
“I should make this. If only I did that. I’m not good enough to be like her. I can’t do anything.”
We cut off the circulation of our creative river, we dam the current of electric energy, our wrists wrapped and heart wound tight with these feelings of inadequacy and self-imposed expectations:
We can no longer feel with our hands what is trapped deep within our hearts.
From this snare, a deep rooted imbalance takes hold, pulling us even further away from our Truth. We begin to live only in our minds and we struggle to control everything for fear that it will all collapse upon us if we do not.
Our nerves become stressed and fried until one day our bodies revolt and the coffee no longer jolts.
If we are wise,
We finally listen
And hear the cry of Wild Woman
Like an echo
In the deepest part of our Soul.
Release from Bondage
Reborn to Ourselves
Letting the River Flow
The Wild Woman is not bound.
She is free.
In order to release our hearts and our hands, burst the dam, feel the current flow unhindered through our bodies within our physical incarnation on this physical plane, we must cut away these superficial ties that have bound us to immobility.
Then we have FREEDOM to CREATE and MANIFEST as our divine hearts sing to us.
We open ourselves to receive when the channels are clear.
That is when Wild Woman wakes,
And authenticity flows.
We can return:
To our childlike sensibilities,
With NEWBORN senses,
Where we paint our lives and the world with our expansive spirits,
Infinite and powerful beyond measure.
It sounds lovely, almost fantastical. But how do we do it?
How do we cut these ties and return to our childlike state?
How about returning to being a child, or even a newborn?
Imagination is imaged power, and by using our imaginations, we may return to our childhoods (or a new childhood, rather) through image.
Perhaps I am jumping the gun, since I haven’t yet done this for myself (I am planning to devote my first few days off from Mama-hood, a “Mommycation”, to starting the process in the next few months when I have ample quiet time to focus on it) but here is a simple example of this idea:
COUNT YOUR COLORS
Have you ever looked outside and counted the colors you saw?
Without stopping at green, blue, brown, but counting
Every shade of green
Every hue of blue
Every nuanced tone of the trees?
Have you ever gone on to NAME each one?
I invite you to try.
Even the dullest place seems to burst forth with life.
That is seeing with Child’s Eyes.
The eyes that just came from the Divine Source of All That Is.
The eyes that truly see as it was meant to be.
Seeing is just one sense.
How many senses do you have?
How well have you been using them?
I see this as part of Step 1, from my previous post, in the process of manifesting Wild Woman:
- I return to my childlike senses and sensibility (to my roots in Divine perfection and wisdom) through appreciation of the multifaceted beauty of life.
Children are born in a state of acceptance and wonder.
Acceptance in that they do not judge. Does my son care when I haven’t showered or if I’m wearing a bizarre outfit around the house? Hell no, unless the outfit happens to include one of my brightly colored skirts, in which case, he is mesmerized and delighted by it!
Wonder because there is something new and magical in every day. Whether that be seeing a fountain shooting forth tall streams of water into the air or simply having mama blow air into their face, it is the tangible world and the spiritual magic flowing in electrical current within it that is what captures the child’s heart & mind.
They are not preoccupied about if their outfit looks wonky or if they should feel guilty about not making that recipe they swore they were going to try this week two months ago or how they would if they could but they can’t so they won’t.
That is, until outside influences begin to train their brains to think this way.
I have a feeling that by going back to a very young child’s innocent wisdom, sight & senses, we may be able to better release these self-critical thoughts that separate us from our Truth.
And by releasing the cynical and self-critical thoughts that have bound me, perhaps I can help my son avoid these influences in his own life. Perhaps this new generation will show us how to heal ourselves, and in so doing, can ensure their own constant connection to divine Truth & Source.
As I have had trouble with self-criticism and anxious worry centered in the THERE & THEN (rather than being in the HERE & NOW,) it makes sense that I was directed toward this return. Can very young children live in any other space?
As I allow myself to be released from the bondage of societal and personal expectation and give way to what moves me, what my intuition guides me to, I allow myself to be reborn to a world of magic, meaning, and above all, Divine Love.
The world where Wild Woman roams free & plays abundantly.
♥ Moon Bear Woman